Happiness

LOOK FOR HAPPINESS; YOU DECIDE IF THE CUP IS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY

"That which gives rise to happiness depends upon the conditioning of the individual; for it is an emotion of a particular kind which is not called into expression universally by any given set of events. Due to different conditioning by experience, the same set of objective conditions arising in the lives of two people may make one discontented and the other happy. The emotional reactions of an individual are largely acquired through his experience with environment.

A thousand dollars in the bank to a man who previously has been poverty stricken may make him feel wealthy, while the same amount to one who has had millions may give the feeling of poverty. Yet there are fundamental desires common to human life which, given special trends by experience, nevertheless cry out for satisfaction. Their adequate realization is a source of joy, and establishes that harmonious emotional state which we commonly call happiness."

A "child is born with no definite emotional reactions toward different objects, and it was shown that through associating certain experiences with it a child can be made to fear any object, or to become angry at the sight of it, or to feel great joy in its presence. Objects in themselves are not the cause of the emotions they arouse by their presence. The emotions are aroused by the thought stimulated by the objects, and these are given their quality through mentally associating the objects with experiences in the past."

DESIRE WHAT'S GOOD, TRANSFORM YOUR DESIRES, DON'T CRUSH THEM

"Desires that have been crushed by the weight of an opposing will are not peaceful subjects, nor are they dead. They persist as revolutionary minorities, always on the alert to overthrow, even temporarily, the control exercised over them...Self-indulgence, of course, is not the road to happiness. It is but one of two unhappy extremes."

NO EXCUSES; DO YOUR BEST

"Haughty seclusiveness, snobbery, whining, bitterness and boasting are all methods by which people attempt to maintain self-esteem by substituting a fictitious state of affairs for reality. Likewise, self-pity, self-excuse, and all forms of conceit are means that serve the same mendacious ends.

Nothing that can happen in life should make of us cowards. Our responsibility ceases when we have done the best we can under the circumstances; but we should not be afraid to face facts and conditions. These may be disagreeable, but let us look them straight in the eye. This willingness and ability to face whatever facts life holds is one of the longest steps toward happiness that most persons can take."

SELF-ESTEEM

"The strongest of all fundamental desires is the urge for self-esteem. It belongs to the Power Urges ruled in astrology by the Sun. The conscious mind often accepts the ideas of inferiority, but the unconscious resists and never does fully accept it. Even in those religions which teach the necessity of killing out all thought of self, the followers take pride in their excessive humbleness, and are filled with self-esteem because they are less selfish than others."

"The desire for significance is insistent and will not be blocked. It finds a normal outlet in courageously accepting all the responsibilities of life. Each individual owes it to himself and to society to make as much as possible of his life. In fact, whether others recognize one's worth or not, there is nothing that so fully conduces to proper self-esteem as the accomplishment of something which conduces to the welfare and happiness of others." These activities "should have as many pleasant associations as possible. They should be looked upon with deep satisfaction."

ADVENTURE

"Another fundamental desire of human life of great insistence is the urge for adventure. Life in all its forms has had a constant struggle to adapt itself to continuously changing conditions. Routine engenders a feeling of mediocrity, and this fails to bring happiness. But change, if there is an element of uncertainty about it, or if it brings the individual into contact with new conditions, gives rise to a feeling of self-expansiveness. In a manner the individuality has extended itself, and feels the thrill of a larger existence.

This love of adventure, of new and somewhat exciting experiences, is one of the Aggressive urges ruled in astrology by the planet Mars. This feeling of overcoming difficulties, of triumphing over opposition, and of building something--whether a house, a business, or a piece of literature--is a source of great satisfaction. And emotional satisfaction is happiness."

Some find adventure in various forms of recreation or in playing games. "Going to the movies and vicariously enjoying the perils, the loves, and the triumphs of the screen stars is a common avenue for" experiencing adventure. "Or it may be had through sympathy for the chief actors in works of fiction, or through travel, or through listening to (or watching) the encounters of opposing athletic teams. Experience a little excitement, get a thrill out of something new and unusual, something beautiful, or something grand. Do something, harmless but unusual, now and then, just for the fun of the thing. Enjoy doing it."

SECURITY

All people "desire security from sickness, from accidental injury and death, from poverty now and from want in old age. They desire security for themselves and for their families and loved ones. Uncertainty of employment, financial losses, ill-health, the threat of separation from loved ones, and fears of every kind, disturb the desire for security, produce worry, and result in unhappiness. These safety urges, ruled in astrology by the planet Saturn, cause as much unhappiness in life as all the other desires combined."

"Instead of thinking about these various lacks, or about the possibility of insecurity of any kind, the mind should think so energetically about the things that can be done and that should be done to provide for security that no part of the attention can wander to the thought of its lack. If at times the disagreeable thoughts are very persistent," one should concentrate on the most pleasant experiences or memories in life. "But under ordinary circumstances, even if for a time things seem to be going badly, the thought may be trained to focus on accomplishment, rather than on lack of anything or danger of its loss."

LOVE & RESPONSE FROM OTHERS

"The desire for response embraces the Social urges, in astrology ruled by the planet Venus. It has to do with friendship, with love, and with marriage and reproduction. The sexual attribute, however, need not express itself in any one particular channel. Even in marriage there is often a lack of full expression for this fundamental and insistent impulse...adequate expression of this urge makes it necessary to love someone or something more than you love yourself. When something, some cause, some work, some individual is found that you can love more than you love yourself, it is possible to sublimate the sexual energies to a higher plane of activity. They then find adequate expression in this non-physical type of love. There are no repressions, but instead a satisfying expression of the desire for response through this substitute channel. Many of the noblest tasks in the world have been accomplished by those who have thus sublimated their love, and they have found happiness in these tasks."

GROWTH AND EXPANSION OF LOVE

"To begin with, and quite naturally, the infant's interests are entirely devoted to himself. His love is centered upon himself. This is called the period of "narcissism" after the fabled youth, Narcissus, who fell in love with his own reflection in the water." Gradually the infant transfers his love from self to the parents, especially the parent of the opposite sex. "In the normal order of things, usually preceding puberty, there is a still further transfer in which the parents no longer are the sole center of interest. The affections move on to a close comradeship and affection for some other person of the same sex. The boy becomes a hero worshiper of some older boy or man, or closely allies himself with a pal of his own age. As the youth approaches maturity there is a very complete transfer of love impulses to some eligible member of the opposite sex. This results in marriage."

"In the normal expansion of the love nature there is no transfer from the husband or wife, but there is a widening of the affections markedly, a decided development in their inclusiveness that is quite significant; as much so as any of the four earlier periods. The love for the marriage partner should not grow less, nor should the relations change in any manner other than that the affections should overflow to embrace the children, which are now normally a part of the family. The marriage, which is the identification with another personality, is still further cemented by the love for and keen interest in an object of mutual concern."

"Children grow up, they marry and establish homes of their own. It is wise that children should do so without hindrance from parents. And at this time there is another affectional transference. If the marriage has been successful husband and wife are as devotedly in love with each other as at any time in the past. The transfer is from the children to a still wider interest. Not that the children are not still loved, but the love expands to embrace society at large. No longer confronted with the responsibility of rearing children both become interested in some project or work that is conducive to the welfare of others."

"At this time in life, also, there are certain physiological changes. How these affect the physical relations depends entirely upon the temperament of the two. Such relations are not incompatible with age, neither are they necessary to the higher relation to be mentioned. I refer to regeneration. Nor is it even necessary or even wise to await this advanced period of life to attain regeneration. But, because the early novelty of married life is outgrown, because there are no more intimate discoveries to make, because the children are away from home, because the man bores his wife by talking about nothing but golf and business, and because the wife is yearly growing fatter, if the regenerate stage has not been reached by this time there is little to hold man and wife together. It is advisable to attain regeneration earlier, but if it is not attained now, the couple remain "fixated" at an affectional level below their possibilities."

"This regeneration is not the same as continence, although it is prohibited by excessive indulgence (in sex). It is the blending of the finer forces of man and wife accompanied by an exquisite magnetic exchange that strengthens the vitality and gives power to the ambition of both. In the early days of courtship the touch of a hand or the exchange of a kiss is sufficient to establish this ecstatic rapport. After marriage, too often, this finer blend goes uncultivated, because of too exclusive attention to the physical aspects. This leaves no surplus of electromagnetic energy to be given the affectional vibratory rate for forming the perceptible magnetic union. Physical and regenerate union mutually exclude each other. And thus the biological urge being satisfied, there is little magnetic pull."

"The final development of the love life, then, in so far as it normally expresses on earth, is the regenerate union of husband and wife who have expanded their love for each other and for children to embrace mankind as a whole, and who have a mutual interest in some work for the benefit of others. Such a keen mutual interest in something other than themselves is one of the strongest forces at all times to make marriage happy and successful."

"In addition to the six stages of affectional development of normal life on earth, there is yet to be considered the spiritual union of soul-mates. There is no physical or astrological way that two people can be proved to be or not to be soul-mates."

ULTIMATE JOY: ONENESS IN CONSCIOUSNESS WITH GOD

"Such a rapport is usually attained through holding the thought, "My Soul is One with the Universe (or God)." This thought, if held persistently under deep concentration, and with the imagination used to "feel" the universal consciousness, leads the soul to the realization of its oneness with all other atoms of life, enables it to discern its work in the universal plan, and reveals to it many fundamental truths regarding the operation of nature's laws. These experiences are usually of very short duration and accompanied by an ecstatic state in which there is a feeling of great joy, happiness, peace and contentment, for which reason it is often spoken of as the peace that passeth understanding."

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